Comfort Is a Drug

It seems that it has never been more difficult or more confusing to be a traditional man than it is today.

I venture to say that our ancestors had it easier; back then it was a well defined path to what it meant to be a “good man”, a “valued man”, a “respectable man”. There was a certain expectation of maturity, responsibility, ethics and morality that came with these monikers. 

Today, many of us traditional males are a confused bunch; barraged with conflicting messages, shamed for our instincts, and ostracized for our traditional values.

So how do we right ourselves; where do we start?

It seems that too many men today are focused on the wrong thing: the easy, illusory happiness. I am talking about that fleeting “happiness” that comes from playing computer games, on-line hook-ups, porn, and basically staying in the ”comfort zone”.

This kind of “happiness” is shallow, empty, and self-indulgent; it makes one complacent and numb. Like eating a piece of candy, it will satisfy a temporary craving, but long term it will destroy your life. Unfortunately, it is the focus on this kind of “happiness” that has sidetracked so many good men, and in the process actually made them miserable.

Comfort is dangerous, because it is insidious and addictive. Comfort zone is where dreams go to die.

So what is more important than happiness you ask?

How about redirecting your focus towards meaning and purpose? What is going to be the legacy of your life? What do you stand for? What is the mission that you must fulfill? Is there something that you would die for?

The men of the greatest generation - WWII - didn't think about being happy, they lived by honor, by valor and by the ideology of something bigger than themselves.

It is time to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Comfort leads to decay and dependency.  The desire to leave the discomfort is what brings the best in us to the forefront. It is discomfort that sharpens our intelligence and alertness, it pushes us towards problem solving and critical thinking; it increases our self-worth and self-trust.

Big part of being a man is to struggle, to overcome and to conquer; both internally and externally. Taking difficulties head on, welcoming challenges and looking difficulties in the eye is how we sharpen our proverbial ax.

I am not the first one, who came up with these ideas. I am including a quote below from a book that I would highly recommend to anyone looking for some direction and good advice: Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl

“Don't aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one's personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long-run—in the long-run, I say!—success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think about it”

 And if you are ready to pursue your mission, consider getting CLOUT.

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